I'm Trying To Stay Afloat

It feels like it has been simply forever since I last wrote on this blog, even though it has only been less than two weeks. Spring Break adventures, tv shows (well mostly Arrow and The Flash because they are the only ones that matter if I'm being completely honest) and sleep have taken priority. I say sleep but I cannot recall the last time I stayed in bed till noon or took a nap during the day, so I guess that makes me a morning person now.

Anyway, to get to the point of this post, I wanted to discuss something that has been heavily weighing on my mind for a while now and that thing is trying to let go of the negative people in my life that I once so naively called some of my closest friends. I guess everyone has those friends (and I use the term lightly) who often bring them down, take them for granted, care when it's convenient and only begin to miss them when they see them doing better without them but there's only so many times you can stand for any relationship like that before it begins to take a toll on your head and heart.

I think the only reason I keep said people around is because I have known them for so long but maybe that's all it means because now that we are older, it is certain that we have outgrown each other and it's troublesome for me to let them stay in my life especially when they make me feel like they don't want to be a part of it. I also kind of don't take losing people well, not that anyone does, but the thing with me is that I give everyone everything but after talking to a dear friend of mine, I no longer want people to matter to me too much because when I get close, it fucks me up and I never really get over it.

I usually put the majority of my effort into people that don't deserve it and I will always be the one that cares too much but more than that, I will never be the type of person to give up on someone no matter what. I cannot fathom leaving them but I am tired of loving people who say they love me so much and then forget I exist.

On that note, I don't want this to take anything away from the good people in my life because I have a handful of people who I love endless amounts but then there are those I can never seem to let go of and in an ocean that is life, they are the anchors that threaten to drown me.

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